15 Ways to Stay Calm and Prevent Emotional Hijacking

Emotional hijacking, a term coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman, refers to situations where our emotions override our rational thought processes, often leading to reactions we later regret. Learning to manage these moments is crucial for maintaining personal and professional relationships and for our overall mental well-being. Here are 15 strategies, including a unique tip involving your phone's screensaver, to help you stay calm and composed.

1. Recognize Your Triggers

• Understanding Triggers: Identify situations, words, or behaviors that typically set you off. Awareness is the first step in managing your reactions.

2. Practice Deep Breathing

• Breathing Techniques: When you feel your emotions rising, take deep, slow breaths. This helps to reduce the stress response in your body.

3. Develop Self-Awareness

• Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness or meditation. These practices enhance your ability to recognize your emotional state and give you space to choose your response.

4. Take a Pause

• The Power of Pause: Before reacting, take a moment to step back. This brief pause can give you time to assess the situation more objectively.

5. Engage in Physical Activity

• Exercise as an Outlet: Physical activity can be a great way to manage stress and reduce anger. Even a short walk can help clear your mind.

6. Establish Boundaries

• Setting Limits: Know your limits and communicate them clearly to others. This can prevent situations that might lead to emotional hijacking.

7. Use Positive Affirmations

• Affirmations as Anchors: Positive affirmations can reframe your mindset. Phrases like “I am calm and in control” can be powerful.

8. Seek Perspective

• Broaden Your View: Try to see the situation from different angles. Understanding others’ perspectives can reduce conflict and frustration.

9. Practice Empathy

• Understanding Others: Empathy helps you connect with others' feelings and can diffuse anger.

10. Avoid Dwelling on Negative Thoughts

• Focus on Positivity: Don’t ruminate on things that upset you. Shift your focus to positive or neutral thoughts.

11. Communicate Effectively

• Assertive Communication: Express your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully, without being aggressive.

12. Use Humour

• Lighten the Mood: Appropriate humour can defuse tension and help you see things in a different light.

13. Seek Support

• Lean on Others: Talking to friends, family, or a professional can provide new insights and ways to cope with your emotions.

14. Practice Gratitude

• Count Your Blessings: Regularly reflecting on things you are grateful for can improve your mood and reduce anger.

15. Customise Your Phone’s Screensaver

• Reminder Tool: Use your phone’s screensaver to display calming images or positive affirmations. This can be a constant reminder to stay calm. For instance, you could include trigger words like “Breathe,” “Pause,” or “Calm” as part of the screensaver. Every time you look at your phone, these words can serve as a prompt to check in with your emotional state.

Implementing these strategies requires practice and patience. It's important to remember that managing emotions is a skill that develops over time. By incorporating these methods into your daily life, you can significantly improve your ability to handle emotional hijacking and maintain a state of calm and rationality.